Day 12 done: Glencoe to Beauly

Today was another successful day in the life of a touring cyclist; albeit that we had a slight recalculation, that I will come to later. We passed our last two milestones before the big one and we now 'believe' we are less than 200 miles from John O'Groats (even though the exact miles remaining has come into debate somewhat). 

Before proceeding with today's events an appendix to yesterday's is required. To celebrate Dicky's promotion we commenced the Big Mike Scotch Trophy by consuming a couple of the local scotches; Ben Nevis and Oban. Both scored rather highly but the Ben Nevis seemed to get slightly better reviews.

Through google we also settled Ace's and my bet from Stirling and proved that my knowledge of scotches is rather limited. Based on the evidence that scotch is named, obviously in hindsight, by being Scottish rather than my tenuous scorched barrel theory, I settled the bet. Still a least the 18 year old Bowmore scotch that I had to buy for all seemed to suppress the bitter taste of defeat. 

So, bringing the scotch ranking up to date we are currently ranking the Bowmore as number one followed by Craggamore, Ben Nevis and Oban respectively. I am sure further updates will follow...

Interestingly, the scotch seems to be having an adverse effect on Ace and myself. After last nights nightcap(s) we spent about 15-20 minutes looking for a lost 20p piece under a bench. We are hoping that the Scottishness will wear off as we head south from John O'Groats in a few days...

Today begun, with a heartier breakfast for all concerned. Knowing that we had a long day ahead we all seemed keen to learn from my mistake by not going light. The table was also reeling from the revaluation that the tour almost came to a premature end through a debilitating injury. Big Mike's toe was the main topic of conversation as he stubbed it on the bathroom door whilst answering the call of nature in the night. The sentiment of trying to avoid waking Dicky, by keeping the light off, was wasted as the blue language post-stubbing was more disruptive than any piercing light.

After breakfast we set off, impressed by Dicky's latest addition  to his outfit. By wearing longer socks there is now only about 1% of Dicky's skin subjected to the elements. We all agreed that Dicky's Lycraman outfit would of been perfect during the recent riots as a vigilante costume. Rumours abound that the 1% of exposed skin could still be reduced further if a balaclava can be sourced prior to John O'Groats. 

A few miles of hugging some scenic lochs saw us arrive at Fort William for our first catch up with Big Mike. Fort William is a quaint village blessed with being based by a loch and at the base of Ben Nevis. After commenting all tour how versatile his camera was, Ace was met with a situation that even his camera could not cope with. It seemed that none of the 'Children and Pets', 'Fish Eye', 'Colour Swap' or  'Magnify' modes were adequate for the 'Mountains and Supermarket' view he was faced with, as our first glimpse of Ben Nevis also included the local Morrisons in the camera frame.  Along with the manufacturers of his water bottle holder and Evans (for wrongly fitting his mudguards) it seems Cannon will be getting a stern letter for not covering all eventualities...

The rest of the morning was spent meandering through the Caledonian countryside passing countless waterfalls, lochs etc before arriving at the unimaginatively named Loch Lochy for lunch. Quick Butty and sugary tea later we began to home in on Loch Ness and Ace's big revaluation. To continue Dicky's geography master class we were all astounded that Loch Ness holds as much water as all the lakes in England and Wales combined. We were also delighted with the detour along the Caledonian Canal tow path, primarily because it's flat.

Comforted by only having 15 miles remaining we settled down for a cheeky half when we arrived at Loch Ness. It was at this point Ace's estimation of the day's mileage seemed to differ from what was recorded on our planning sheet. It was when he admitted that he never measured the mileage and that it could be anything up to an extra 10-15 miles that our mood changed. The extra miles might also account for the frayed humours over the next 10 miles when the peloton stretched and we weren't quite the slick 'professional' racing team of previous days.

Luckily a sign a few miles away confirmed that our extension was restricted to 10 miles and we begun to zone in on Beauly. After leaving Loch Ness, disappointed that Nessy hadn't popped up to cheer us on, we began a severe climb that must rank in our worse ten climbs of the tour and arrived at our hotel with 86 miles on the clock.

As it is my last blog of tour it would be amiss of me not to mention our last transformation, which along with the beards and ferrel barnets that might persuade our better halves to have the front door locks changed before we return; the farmers tan. As we are eating a lot of sweets to keep our calories up I think we should use sweet shop classics to provide an analogy. My tan is looking very much like a humbug (very black vs white), Dicky's is looking like a rhubarb and custard (red vs yellow) while Ace's is looking like the fried egg penny sweet (pasty yellow vs pasty white).

Tomorrow we head to Altanarra but not before we will all be sitting behind Ace's shoulder as he rechecks his estimates for the last two stages. As found today, we may again experience issues posting the blog due to reception as we get further north. Please bare with us. We will post as soon as we hit a hot spot!

Stats:

- Mileage:  86
- Total mileage: 894
- Miles remaining (hopefully):  140
- Unaccounted mileage cycled in the day: 10miles
- Beers consumed en route: 2 halves per cyclist 
- Monsters spotted: zero
- Falls: zero